Chapter 1: Being Kind Online

Being Kind Online 💛

Be Kind, Even Online!

Have you ever sent a picture to Grandma? Have you ever played a game with a friend on a tablet? When you do, you are talking to people online.

Being online is a lot like being at school or at the park. There are people. There are feelings. And there are good ways to act. Let’s find out how to be kind when we use technology.

Real People, Real Feelings 💛

When you use a tablet or a computer, you see words and pictures on a screen. But behind every screen is a real person. That person can feel happy. That person can feel sad. Just like you!

Online, you cannot see a face. You cannot hear a voice. You cannot see a smile or a frown. So it is easy to forget that a real person is reading your words.

There is a special word for good manners online. It is netiquette. Say it with me: net-ih-ket. It is a mix of two words:

Net is short for internet.
Etiquette means good manners.

So netiquette means good manners online.

A person who uses technology in a kind, safe, and smart way is called a digital citizen. You are a citizen of your town. When you go online, you are a digital citizen too!

The rules we follow at school still count online. We do not hit. We do not call names. We do not take things that are not ours. What we do online happens to real people, in real life.

Choosing Kind Words 💬

Words are powerful. Kind words can make someone smile all day. Mean words can make someone feel sad all day. That is true out loud, and it is true online.

Here are some kind words you can use:

“Great job!”
“I like your picture!”
“Thank you for helping me.”
“Can I play too?”

Here are some unkind words we do not use:

“That is dumb.”
“You can’t play with us.”
“Nobody likes you.”

Online, people cannot hear how you say something. A joke can sound mean when it is just typed words. That is why little pictures can help. An emoji is a small picture that shows a feeling. A smiley face 😊, a heart ❤️, or a thumbs-up 👍 can show that you mean to be kind.

Emojis are helpers, but they cannot fix mean words. A mean message with a smiley face is still a mean message. The words come first.

Stop and Think Before You Send 🛑

When we feel excited or upset, we might want to type fast and press Send. But a good digital citizen takes a pause first.

Before you send, ask yourself three questions:

Is it kind?
Would I say it to their face?
Would I be okay if my teacher or my grown-up saw it?

If the answer is no, do not send it. Fix it, or ask a grown-up for help.

Why does the pause matter? Because things we put online can stay there for a long, long time. Other people can see them. They can save them. They can share them.

Everything you do online leaves a trail, like footprints in the sand. This trail is called your digital footprint. Kind words make a good footprint. Mean words make a bad footprint.

Good footprints look like this:

Saying thank you
Cheering for a friend’s work
Asking for help nicely

Bad footprints look like this:

Calling someone names
Sharing a picture of someone without asking
Leaving a friend out on purpose

Cyberbullying Is Never Okay 🚫

Sometimes a person is mean online again and again, on purpose. That is called cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is bullying that happens with a phone, a tablet, a game, or a computer.

Here are some examples of cyberbullying:

Sending mean messages to the same kid over and over
Telling everyone in a game not to play with someone
Sharing a silly picture of a kid to make others laugh at them

What if someone is mean to you online? Here is your plan:

Stop. Do not send a mean message back.
Step away. Put the device down.
Tell a grown-up you trust. A parent, a teacher, or another grown-up who takes care of you.
Keep the message. Do not delete it. Your grown-up may need to see it. Your grown-up can help you block the person.

Be an Upstander

What if you see someone else being bullied? You can be an upstander. An upstander does something kind and safe to help.

An upstander can:

Tell a grown-up what they saw.
Be a friend. Say, “I’m sorry that happened. Want to play with me?”
Not join in. Do not laugh, like, or share the mean thing.

You do not have to fix it alone. Telling a grown-up is not tattling. It is helping.

Fixing Problems with Kindness 🤝

Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we type something we wish we had not. Sometimes a friend misunderstands a message. That is okay! We can fix it.

Here are ways to fix a problem with kindness:

Say sorry. “I’m sorry. That was not kind.”
Ask a question. “Did you mean that as a joke? It hurt my feelings.”
Take a break. If you feel angry, take three deep breaths before you answer.
Talk in person. Some problems are easier to fix face to face, with a grown-up nearby.

Being kind does not mean you always agree. You can say, “I have a different idea,” in a kind way. Kind words help everyone feel safe to share.

Every kind message you send makes the internet a better place. You can be the reason someone smiles today!

Chapter 1 Activity: Kind Words Detective 🔍

With a grown-up:

Sort these words into kind and unkind: “Great job!”, “That is dumb.”, “Can I play too?”, “Nobody likes you.” Give a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down.
Fix it. Take one unkind sentence. Change it into a kind one.
Pause and check. Say a pretend message out loud. Ask the three questions: Is it kind? Would I say it to their face? Would I be okay if my grown-up saw it?
Practice the plan. Act out what to do if someone is mean online: stop, step away, tell a grown-up.
Draw a kind message with an emoji on a piece of paper. Give it to someone in your family!

Key Concepts Checklist

I know there is a real person behind every screen
I know netiquette means good manners online
I can say three kind words I use online
I know an emoji can show a feeling, but kind words come first
I stop and think before I send
I know my digital footprint is the trail I leave online
I know cyberbullying is being mean online again and again, on purpose
I know how to be an upstander and tell a trusted grown-up